just came back to see my blog.
after a long time,read all of my posts.
memories flashed by.its a good feeling.
im happy and satisfied alhumdulilah with my life at the moment.

just came back to see my blog.
after a long time,read all of my posts.
memories flashed by.its a good feeling.
im happy and satisfied alhumdulilah with my life at the moment.

Mangni

So after few 15 mins to an hour ill be getting engaged.Im all dressed
up and my phone is the only toy i have.Im all dressed up.Bilkul
dulhan,feel like washing my face and changing into pajamas.Chalo
waiting for fiance mian to come.

Calls

And he called again,and again and again.We had a long chat last
night.Its our engagement tonight.And all things are going wrong with
the jora he brought for me.It dint get stitched properly.He showed
disappointment at me not selecting his dress.He chose mine,and
delivered it my place himself.Even chose the chappal to go with it.i
hv started to show my colours already.The best part about him is that
he himself wants to marry and its not just his parents wish.As for me
honestly i wanted to do it coz my parents asked me too,but now i guess
im falling for my fiance's gestures.Hehe.I hope god'll keep us
both.Happy and satisfied.

Lnh and his call.

Went to lnh today for the test,it went really well.I dint prepare for
it but still it went pretty well.On my way out met friends from
college.We all gathered for tea with samosas,then i broke the news of
my engagement which is this sunday.While walkin back to my car i
checked my phone and my fiance's no was there in missed calls,damn.I
was waiting for him to call me for a week now and this is wot
happens,my phone was on sglent.Khair turned it to the loudest ring
possible and came back.On my way he called again finally.Its good to
hear his voice and his humorous talk.Makes me laugh.Then i got a
lecture about not driving while talkin after which he put the phone
down.He seems like a nice guy to me.Lets hope for the best.

shadi

im gettin married.
so the guy called last nite...with whom im gettin married this march
he seems nice,fair and reasonable enough.
i feel like a typical pakistani woman.
shaid,its my job now to look after him and his family.
how things change!
i dont even know him properly and im gettin married.
we talked for two hours,two hours deciding for life time.
so i have said yes,and so did he.
our parents couldnt be happier.
i hope ill bring out the best in him and he brings out the best in me.
i hope our marriage is not that of a typical pakistani couple.
i dont even remember his face.i have met him twice and i have forgotten his face.
on the phone he sounded funny and was keeping me comfortable at all time.
but too many feminist books on my list have left thinkin about all the negatives in a man.
i hope its not that way.
p.s.i got my nose pierced and it hurts bad!

D.I.S.C.O

Heard a really old song yesterday...A silly old song..:) im a disco dancer...Hahaha,in between in had this D is for dances, I is for item, S is for singer, C is for chorus, O is for orchestra.Hmmm dint know that,silly song teachin u silly abbreviations.

and all of a sudden im so farigh and yet have no time for anythin
yesterday woke up to the shouting of my dad,
he wanted me to go to LNH for residency form.
i masi masi(punjabi for mushkil say) got out of bed,
got ready,drove like crazy only to find all,read all, under construction.
it took me a while before i reached LNH.
got the form,and shoot i forgot to bring a pen,asked the counter guy to lend me his pen for few minutes,he did.
as i was fillin in the form dutifully,i heard someone call my name,looked up with hair in my eyes to fine Ba and Wa standing there.
they looked at me as if i was stealing somethin.
finally BA spoke "mujhay pata tha ull apply here too"
i was "Han to?" a typical female reply.
khair i told them the procedure,good they didnt hv attested photocopies at hand.they had to go back....evil me...hehhehheheh.i submitted my form.
on my way back got the call from that firm,i applied few days back for a couseller kinda job.i had my interview today
i dotn think ill get the job.i told them honestly why i wanted the job,told them i was only bridgin gap between my h.j and residency.
lets see wot happens...
one interesting thing which he asked me was "have u crossed atlantic?"
i was like "yeah."
so he asked "which city did u go to?"
told him "been to seven states for the record and many cities includin lasvagas,washington,newyork,chicago...."
he cut me to ask "so in chicago did u go to von street...."
i was like "...emmm....no,but yeah i did to go d'von street...."
hehehhehehhe..he was like they are both the same thing....
lord.....i made a boo boo!
anyway....
i am making dinner tomorrow.its officially my duty to make dinner tomorrow and im planning on makin chicken tikka cum roast.
ive got some shan powder...will mix it with murgi and put it in the oven....lol....
bas.

three firsts

So i posted it thrice.I dont know how to delete it from here.But will find out soon.

post post call

i have been on calls every alternate day now and now i have started hallucinating!
i see and hear things which are not there.
my day started with a mourning face,i just didnt want to stay in the hospital that day.
but soon my mood was lifted because B and R came to say hi,they wanted to get their certificates attested
them both are appearing in a post-graduate exam called fcps in pakistan,
im lucky im exempted from it as i have cleared my membership of royal college of london.
so teased them,made them feel inferior,lol.
they came in and out of the ward while i worked,so at 3pm,they march in announcin we are goin for a lunch,S was on call in his ward too,so the plan was to pick him and go to a local cafe around,no one had a car so had to walk it there.
had so much work to do,told B n R to wait.they went to S's ward,tellin me to join em there.
i tried to finish as much as i could and rushed to S's ward,only to find S in a professor role,he acted like one.
he was tryin to give that look of look busy do nothin,after fifteen mins of battle,i just put my foot down,got up and shouted at S for being a jerk and spoiling everyones mood for a lunch,he got scared and we agreed to meet in fifteen mins outside the laboratory,i came running back to my ward,sent some pending investigations,wrote the remaining history,couselled one of the patients,ran out to the lab.R,B and S came there and we walked to the site.had biryani.B and R because not workin were not in the mood to go home,i knew i had a ward to attend to and so did S kept on beggin them to disperse,but sat there for fifteen more mins.
i am a bully type amongst my friends,but yesterday they started bullyin me,they started staring,bas i got confused,and they blamed me sayin im sharmaofyin and shit.i actually wasnt,ab how long can a person stare another.
so after some galofyin i tried to bribe them so that i could go back.
B and R went for icecream and me and S walked it back to the hospital.
knowing the nature of my call(hectic) we couldnt decide much for dinner.
but yeah it wasnt that hectic so had dinner at S's ward with chappati and some home made half garam salan.
gulped ti down with some warm water.
rushed back.
i slept quiet a lot on my call yesterday,surprisingly there werent many female patients admitted an this time i was in charge of the female ward.good good.
in the morning passed stomach tube to two patients,got the round done and came back home,
im not goin tomorrow,taking a day off as im on call on sunday too.
lets relax and watch a good movie.
yeah one of my patients attendant gave me alot of sincer duwain,the only reason was i listened to her story,
one day ill put up all the amazing stories that i have heard from my patients.

post call

blogging after dayssssss.
have been busy with alternate calls,
three more calls and im done with my housejob.
postgraduation-ship to follow.
calls have not been that hectic but yeah very tiring.
i read,daughters of arabia after finishing princess and blasphemy.
and so the anger for men is emerging with any emotion associated with XY chromosomes.
got my hands on some good music.
first one was bas ik pal and wo lamhey's soundtrack.
other one is abida parveen's naaraye mastana...ahaaaa,maza agaya.
have so many things to say but little ATPs to support.
dhuwan dhuwan horaha hai saman,kay kahin to hai aag lagi.

low!

down n low!
am on call tomorrow,
and its a holiday.when everyone will be sleepin ill be checkin B.Ps.
not fair.
i need to change my field.
want to have tea but to sleep too,and they both antagonize each other...wot
to do...
need to find de-nicotinized tea.
god help me.actually i just cant look upto god for help because of the way i
pray these days
half hearted namaz.im guilty of prayin in a hurry.so i dont think i deserve
to ask god for help.

50th

this is my fiftieth post.
ive been bloggin quite alot lately.
i enjoy writing.
it was another hectic day at work.
im happy to have some understanding with the bed doctors now.
this dr.prakash is really freindly and we give alot of cover to each other.
if im post-call i can leave and if he's post call i make sure he leaves as soon as possible.finally posted with a responsible doctor after a long time.
not a shunter and im satisfied when he's around with the patients.
so we have this patient in our ward.he's from central prison and ethopian in origin,
he's serving term for drug smuggling.
he came with stroke(falij-layman term) of rite side of the body,
so for the first few days of his arrival we were even feeding him and giving him medicines,a task usually performed by the attendant.but as he had none we were doin it and knowin he's a stroke patient and wont be able to do it himself,first he had nasogastric tube past through his nose into his stomach and we were givin him juices and milk with medicines throught it.now slowly he has progressed and very concious.he's takin juices with his other hand now,before he was too drowsy and even unable to use his left hand properly,but thank god he's improved.
when he came here he ws in stupor and because we couldnt understand his language it was very difficult to understand,and superimposed on that was his slurred speech due to stroke.so if he needs anythin now he raises his hand,we go to him and ask leading questions like wot do u want?do u want juice?do u want to change posture?and stuff like that,the other day he called me and asked for somthin from the table besides him.i tried to ask him in thousand questions wot he wants,he was fumbling somethin like maaaaanaa..so i somthin struck me and i asked him "marijuana"?and he looked at me with such piercing eyes and shook his head sayin no!ooops then i realized wot i did,marijuana mite hv been the reason why he was in jail and i precipitated the fact by askin him,just like accusing him,oh i feel so bad but by god i didnt mean it.i did try to explain to him that i just asked him because of the sound he made resembled that of marijuana,nothing personal.he was alrite,poor him,think he had no choice.i still feel so so so bad.
rest is fine.im doing great after my last sip of evening tea.
TEA EMPOWERS ME!

tired & depressed.

im tired,all the bones,muscles,tendons,connective tissues in my body are tired,full of lactic acid.
had a hectic call last nite,
was workin since the morning,then came noon,then afternoon,then evening,then nite,and i was workin along other doctors,looked at the clock it was 2am,got busy again,looked at the clock again,4am,started explaining somthin to a patients attendant,went back to history taking,this time when i looked at the clock it showed 5:30am and sun started showin from the sky,
and i couldnt believe i saw sun twice without a blink.
even workin for such long hours,giving all the care,two of my young patients died,when i say young i mean pts rangin from 35-45.
tried to console the attendant but i couldnt console or convince myself because i knew their death was pure negligence on behalf of surgical unit on call,
they kept on sayin they were busy with their critical patients in their ward.
i dont know wots true but i think we should have a proper set up,my heart bleeds rite now thinkin that two patients lost their lives just because they were poor and couldnt afford proper treatment.
and our hospital is so overworked that someone has to die to someone elses life.
just imagine one fine day you are goin in your car to your business/work/college and u meet an accident.ppl dont recognize u on the spot and some angel does bother to throw u at a government hospitals door,you are just like an ordinary person lyin their gettin treatment from overworked doctors n staff,your family goes on about their business without knowin about u,and even if they do come to the hospital in search of u,thanks to poor record keeping they dont find u and move on to other places where they mite find u,for example a police station.and all that time you are lyin in the hospital all by yourself,lil care and lots of dangers.
keep this in mind and do help the ngos workin for government hospitals,
i think they deserve all the funding.
you mite be saving someones life.
so many lives are lost everyday in civil,woman cry...even men cry....
its just heart breaking.
we need to change the system and not wait for someone else to do it for us.
dont be satisfied at the fact that you can afford agha khan and let the rest go to hell,you mite not be able to see agha khan,you mite end up in a government hospital.
health is our rite,we should have setups where we should be at peace while gettin our treatment done.
lets start all this from home by followin one simple rule
keepin our surroundings clean and not gettin the additional risk of gettin disease.
i think that is where all the effort is required.
to educate to eliminate.
even we the so called educated ppl do stuff which is harmful to our health(like the food we take in,greasy oily,sugary)just because we know we can afford the treatment god forbid we get any disease,like diabetes or hypertension.
most of the ppl around us are obese.most educated ppl dont care about their health,so we the doctors are dealing with ppl who could have avoided disease and we could have directed our expertise towards those who really needed help.
just think about it.

world.

ye jo world hai na world.....
anyway,went to the ward in a gloomy mood today inspite of an extra shot of caffiene.
entered the ward with my water bottle in one hand bag gripped tight just like a gaon ki larki would hold her child in the fields.
attended the morning meeting,one of the doctors sittin besides me had a fite wit associate proffesor of our ward,he walked out in ehtijaz and insult.
i just watched both of them with a jaw drop.
came back in the docs duty room,tried to have a conversation with another doctor just to be polite...instead made her cry,i only asked you look dull.and with that came big droplets of ansoo....oh,i shouldnt try to socialize in this ward atleast.
as im here for only fifteen more days i just cant crowd my phones address book with numbers i know i wont dialling for the rest of my life.
the new batch of medical students came for their medical checkup.
and 8 doctors from our ward were called to do their checkup including me.
so it was fun all the new kids with glittered emotions were standin there enthusiastically waitin for their turn,
they were so excited that most of them had high pulse rate and low B.P.
so many fumbled with the weight machine,
the funniest were the ones who when asked to stand against the measuring tape plastered wall stood there with their face towards the wall.
baicharay...most of the girls couldnt believe the machine which showed their weight,sayin we checked last week and it was 2kgs less.
i thought dont u remember it was eid last week,and now thanks to all the sheer khormas u had this is your weight,go home exercise from today.
im on duty tomorrow and i so wanna complain about it.
just dont feel like in the ward where once i happily did extra hours and even extra duties.i miss my friends:(

AUTUMN cleaning

its sunday again,
brother came back today from england,i didnt go pick him up from the airport but this is the excuse which ill be puttin forward tomorrow if asked.
he came around 7 in the mornin,i woke up at 10,when he was sleepin,he woke up at 2,when i was about to go back to sleep.thank god he came to my room and we had a chit chat,caught up on all gossips and news of my cousins back in england,
so one of my sheesha driven crazy is comin to visit us on 7th,
other two of my cousins are gettin engaged this january,
and some others will be visitin us in feb.
wow,lookin forward to all of that
i have started cleanin my room,it takes one whole day to clean my room properly,
when i do clean it i clean it from inside out,i try to clean all those hard to reach places,so this is my day for autumn cleaning.
bhai has gone to play cricket with his old friends,
other two are busy with their own lives.
mum n dad are out too,their eid hasnt finished yet.
and i am sittin here with oiled hair takin a break from cleaning.

my feudal lord(landlord)

so i went to Bs place last nite
and while she was prayin i started lookin at her book collection and reached out for tehmina durrani's blasphemy,so im talkin to myself and said hmm...if only i could find my feudal landlord....hehhehe...and while still prayin she starts laughin,did the salam and said its not feudal landlord,its my feudal lord.i was so embarassed....tried to clear it by sayin yeah i knew it was a slip of a tongue...khair.
came back with the book and read it till late at nite,skipped work to read and finished it before lunch...i just had a feelin i shuldnt leave HEER in the middle like that.
and now im thinkin about wot excuse should i give on monday for not showin up....

had a bad day,
went to the hospital today,thought about shunting but then the thought of poor patients made me get up in the mornin
so in the mornin when no one was out and yeah i had my cup of tea while driving i just couldnt help pity myself for gettin up and out on the third day of eid.
so went to the ward to find few docs roamin around,my bed docs werent there so i just joined the icu round,then i heard someone sayin that our bed round has started,so came runnin to get a zoor dar dant for not followin up on my patients,i know it ws my fault i should hv done the follow up on my patients and then gone to any other bed,but there was no one around an i had no idea wot to do and i was so disoriented that i didnt even bother givin an exuse,so during the round when the third round of dant started i took some action,it was also because a senior doctor said tk tk tk kya hogaya hai tumhay,then i realized kay baita ainwi daant pit rahi hai mujhay,i wasnt in the ward because i was posted in the icu for my last two calls,isi liay i didnt do my follow up,because i remember clearly about myself that i dont just ignore work,if im given some work i make sure i do it properly,so i sternly told my associate proff who was dantofyin me that it really isnt my fault and the beds were alloted to someone else,and not me,i just didnt realize it,probably was too sleepy,aargh,the doc who actually was alloted those beds was standing there having fun and not takin the credit of his ignorance and share of my dant.aargh,i know it makes no sense.
the sonay pay suhaga was when this stupid doc comes to me after three hours of thsi session sayin aaj subha say tum bohat kaam kar rahi ho,i actually did work but i found it so sarcastic that i so wanted to dab her face with spirit and put puffs of powdered amoxicillin on it.
and i forgot my phoen at home,it ws so annoyin.
bas rushed back home and slept,woke up at 3-30 and offered prayers.
ghalti to mairi thi,i should have known that those were not my beds and i shouldnt have just let him dantofy me for no reason.

bakra shopping

so this time i went or so i thought for bakra shoppin,i know its a lil too early for a bakra shoppin but its the other kinda bakra,the shadi ka bakra.
so this guy came to my place to check out the bakri in me,
he went back and approved(still thinkin why)
he left so many questions poppin up in my pea sized brain,
he didnt talk to me and still said yes,wot made him say yes,
all i can think rite now is of that song by sajjad ali
kya maira bangla daikha ya mairi gari daikhi ya maira bank balance daikha?
hehhehhehhehe,
well,so i didnt end up landin at the bakra mahal,but at a friends place near by where as parents went all the way to BM(bakra mahal),
they had some heart to heart talk this time,
and my mum asked him the question which i prepared my mum to ask him
and that was to know why he said yeah,wot did he see.
so the answer which did come forward was that the third person who introduced us shares a bond of trust with guys father and that third person has said some good words about me,so they approved me,hmmm...wot im thnkin rite now is that if that was all which was important why did they bother to come see me?they should have done the rishta on the phone only,if it was ONLY about third persons words.
im so screwed rite now,my mum keeps on tellin me im not gettin any younger and blah blah about my age,
so if im 30 and not married does that mean ill be a social outcast?
no one would lik to talk to me?
or they will look at my parents as irresponsible mother and father?
or my brothers will start hating me and my bhabhis(to be) will spit on me?
or ill not hv the share in family wealth?
or wot?
how necessary it is for a girl to get married before i cross this 25-27 age group?
so i have nthin else in my life to satisfy me but a guy with...now dont make me write it here.
what if he makes my life miserable?wot if he wont be able to make me laugh or take away all the small laughs i have now?
wot if he doesnt like the way i cook(which ill learn in a few days time)
wot if his parents wont let me work?
wot if his bhabhi has this competitive behaviour and there is always a race in the house?
wot if his niece choses to hate me(kids have their reasons)
wot if im not allowed to mingle with friends(dont hv many left here)
wot if he wont let me sleep and get up at the times i would prefer to set for myself?
wot if he has this annoyin habit of scratchin his bottom?or his ears?or pick his nose?
wot if he finds my nose too fat?
or wot if he finds my habits a bit too weird(im a human chopper,openly chop food in my mouth)
aaargh.
wot if im not allowed to become a consultant an improve womens health in pakistan.
im tired now and dont have more wot ifs.

fasting blog status(FBS)

blurry eyed woke up to the noise of kabhi alvida na kehna's song,
my mum has this habbit of watchin an indian flick on any holiday.
she used to be that kinda workin mum who didnt know how to operate the remote control and boy am i sad now to teach her how to use it,she's over doin it.
she also knows now how to txt from her phone(thanks to my younger bro),the shock of my life was when i was studyin for my exam in england i get a msg from my mum's no,i thought she must have asked someone to write msgs for her,but no the msgs kept on pourin and those too serious and confidential,i called her askin wots wrong with her,she said she just learnt how to text.achievement hai bhai.
thank god my dad still cant do that,and the funny thing is his phone package gives him tons of free msgs which go to waste every month,hehehhe.
so now just waitin for my anda omelette to be ready,cant wait to have fresh tea.
chalo will write later this was just a fasting pre-breakfast post.....still to come pre-lunch,then pre-dinner,then post-dinner posts(all these are also the timings for a diabetic patients suger check point,no im not diabetic,just an extra piece of info)

soraj hon main

ae sala,abhi abhi,hoya yaqeen,ke aag hai,mujh main kahin
hoi subha,main chal gaya,soraj hon main,nikal gaya...
roobarooo....roshini hai...
a new day,fresh feel.
i miss my brother today,he's in england and will be comin on 28th,stupid airlines,couldnt get a ticket.
this is the first time he's not here for eid,and i miss him dearly,
the boys came back from namaz and i teased my younger brother callin him "kalay chanay"he's got an uneven tan on his little face,it pisses him so much and i take full advantage of that.
i miss all my friends also who have gone abroad,almost all of them and those who have gone to their interior homes.
i dont know if they'll be missin me or will be busy stuffin their pits with saywaiyan.
anyway,lets see how the day goes.gotta go meet nanni.

chanda mamaa

finally i spotted mr.moon.
prayed for a long time lookin at it.
and im so positive that my prayers will come true.
and with moon sightin comes chand mubarak walay msgs and deteriorating cellphone service.still love eid and everythin associated with it.

main na mano haar

cant believe it,its not eid tomorrow,how can mr.moon do this to me
so the change in rota,im on call tmorrow instead of second day,so this is turnin out to be in my favour,thank you mr.muneeburrehman.
i wont be workin on second day of eid.ill be workin on chand din,oh i like that.
i got my mehndi done in 200B.C.it'll be old on eid day now:(

mehndi.

i just went out with B to get mehndi done on my hands,
i just got one hand done and was so sleepy,i decided to stop it there.
just came back home and cant wait for the clock to strike 12,its my 25th birthday!milestone birthday and i dont have any plan,no friends around at this time of year to celebrate.but im not unhappy.i thank god for all that he has given me and for all the world i have been able to see and feel!

pre-eid.

so i write after two whole days,
i had to do an icu posting as the girl who was already posted there got transferred to another hospital,so it was decided at the last moment that i was the one doing the call on friday,jumatulwida.
so the call went smooth,S,A and N came in the morning to mourn my unexpected call,
and then my day had all types of twists and turns rangin from shifting the patient to another ward to doin cpr on a ward patient,had biscuit with pakola milk for sehri,came home and passed out.
woke up at four,then got ready to for iftar at my nani's.
had iftar there,went out for shopping with brothers.
came back and passed out again.
woke up today at 1pm,slept again at 3pm
wow,i have spent some last 30 hours sleeping.
i was so sure to see the moon tonite and then the drama would have been so exciting of cursin the maulvi muneeburrehman and his committee
but no,i tried convincing my younger brother to come see the moon,couldnt be bothered explainin it to the old ones,they all think im mad,
so the younger one just for eidi came in my jhansa and we went to find the mooon,but no its not eid tmorrwo,one more day.
chalo.
im thinkin about sleeping again now,
turnin into a pumpkin now.
with swollen eyes.
gotta go

tagged.

Thank you inspirex for makin me use my braincells,
so inspirex tagged me,and this is the first time,of both him taggin me and me being tagged.so here goes:

Today

height: 5'5.5"
color: hair?nail?skin?rangin from fair to black.
piercing: ears,both.
tattoos: imaginary.

Right Now

Time: 18:34
Mood: euphoric,no tired,no euphoric,no tired,okie euphoric.
taste: tea tea tea(strong)
the weather: humid!
bad habit: always in a hurry.
current crush: im over 24 years old now and a lil amnesic!
biggest regret: should have chosen an administrative career
Perfume(s): Tommy girl.
Thing I want to do: get ma lab coat washed.

favorite

TV show: MALCOLM in the middle,friends.
book: read many but still cant decide on one fav.
non alcoholic drink: juices,fresh juices.
milk drink: if pina collada counts(its got coconut MILK!)
brand: not a die hard brand freak.
color: shades of blue and purple.
perfume: cool water GAMEedition, Burberry london.Paul smith for women.
designer: me,myself and I.
Chocolate: not a chocolate freak either,but yeah can have one bar of flakes.

Have I Ever

broken the law: yes...and been charged for it.
misused credit card: NO!!!
skipped school: yeah and college and university!
fell asleep in the shower/bath: no,but I did try.
had children: no but have all the equipment to have them anytime now.
been in love: wot is that?
been hurt: obviously,YEAH.

Random

have a job: yes.
My CD player has what in it right now: diamonds are forever by kanye west
if I were a crayon, the color? purple,blue,purple,blue,okie purple.
what makes me happy? when im understood well by ppl around me.

When/What Was the Last

I got a real letter: MRCOG part one clearance letter
got an email: my friends valima pics.
thing I purchased: toilet paper!
TV program I watched: alif on geo,while having iftari.
movie I saw in the theaters: Pyar kay side effects!
hugged: my lil bro,3 mins back.
song heard: feeling blue
place I was [besides home]: hospital(I work there)
phone call: brother who came to pick me up.
was depressed: last month.still should be depressed as things haven't changed much but I get bored being depressed for a long time.

What Comes to Mind When I Hear

car: taxi(my car is a taxi for my friends)
murder: she wrote
cape: town,lowest point.
cell: wall.
fun: being able to laugh hysterically
shoe: clarks
crush: injury.
music: provocative
love: complicated.
chalk: pan(chona).

happy and yeah the curse is for anyone readin this blog,go tag yourself.

favouritism.

woha,tht was one hectic call, and a memorable one too,yet again.i so hate favouritism,i feel it puts more pressure on a person to live upto the expectations when once favoured.
arrrgh.
so i recently experienced favouritism,and the one favoured was no one else but me.
so call yesterday was kinda hectic coz the other doctors co-alloted on my beds are all hadd haram.they dont work.some dont bother comin to the ward and the one guy who come just give me a creep.so me and this guy have ten beds alloted and we have to take care of all things related to them,so after i was favoured in the morning which i honestly tried to resist,i tried to act humbly towards this guy and i offered to do extra work.but i found out later that all he did was say yes to anythin i asked him to do and after one hour saw him chattin away either on his phone or with some other girl with the work pendin.knowin that its difficult to get the work done after 12pm,in a government hospital and that too in ramadan,i had to tell him several times to move his butts.but his butts were so held together by his shit.
so after he decided to ignore my cries i went on the opinion takin trip,went to ortho ward to get an opinion,where i encountered another hadd haram,he was too lazy to move and come see my patient,sayin that the other ward is responsible for the patients opinion because he was admitted on their emergency day,gave him a thrashin in front of his junior h.o,ha,angerily i told him to write it down in black and white with his name,he refused to do so which made me raise a brow,and he agreed to come see the patient.oh my brow is powerful.lol.
that hadd haram did come but at 3 am in the mornin along with the same h.o.baisti does help sometimes.
well,met R,he came to say hi and he still sits in an awkward position.B called at the same time,she was out shoppin so couldnt drop by.
had iftar with dilpasands samosa and one apple,lots of water and juice at S's ward,where R joined in.had a chit chat with S after a looooong time.laughed at the extra effort put in to keep the table clean.wanted to have tea but the stupid microwave wasnt workin and i was in no mood of having tea from the canteen,full of milk,it makes me feel like im stickin my mouth onto a bhains's nipple and having tea.
i so wanted to buy kajal from hashmi surma,lol.but the stupid hashmi ki dukan opens after iftar and im in no mood to fite my way through charsis at that time.
i was kept up all nite.somethin or the other just came up,had to shift a patient to neurosurgery.did that.that's a task in a government hospital,no ward is willing to accept a patient.so after alot of persuation the doc at NS finally agreed to get the patient shifted to his spot.
met M.S(medical superintendent) on the way back,just know him coz we the batch of 2005 thrashed him last year because of VHF,one of my friends died workin due to VHF.
so met him and he seemed distressed at that time.probably some big name was suffering from VHF and was shifted in the hospital,could see him with his cheela's.
woke up after sleepin for three hours,told dr.M sahib that im post call and leavin for home,favouritism again,yes i was allowed.i feel bad now.shouldnt hv asked,but that other hadd haram,useless,phone talker should work someday too.
sorry for the hadd haram bonanza.
an yeah im tagged.
will do that later,dont wanna write hadd haram for everythin in there.

iftar dinner

so yesterday after comin back home from work(read shunting from work)
i tried to sleep,but my call rota kept me up.
so i decided to call the rota incharge and informed her about my changes.
she finally accepted.
put on the alarm for 4:45pm.msged B to be ready by 5:10pm so that i can pick her up and be there in time.
msged F,msged Sh,msged so many more ppl to be there on time,dint get a single reply.
woke up.harbara kay.got ready,wore dhoti shalwar on Bs farmaish,looked like i was walkin in gujranwala.
on the way as usual B was so in her own world that when a police van passed by us with its siren on,B thought it was comin from a masjid and it was time for iftar,lord,she freaked out sayin..."awwww roza khul gaya,khajoor bhi nahi hai"
i didnt know wot was happenin to her because i really dont relate a siren to iftar.
so after one min i realized wot she meant and why she was so hysterical,i calmed her down tellin her its jus a police van.it was a scene,she would have cried if i didnt tell her on time.aww..poor baby...but the kutti wasnt even fasting.lol.
so we reached there 5 mins before iftar time and only bobo is there.jus bobo.me,b and bobo.i planned on goin back if no one turned up,im not having iftar with bobo.only.
didnt even know who got the reservation done,tried all the names but no the manager couldnt find us on the list.
so it was either to wait there for the lot to come or go look for a thela and open ur iftar and save yourself from the boboism.
they finally came and it was sh bday too.
the food was so not up to the standard,everythin was so bland.
the evenin went a little dull.
every round to the food court i asked B if we could go back home,
she as usual replied like ma mum,pagal ho kya,paisay diaye hain to kha kay jayen gay.
finally the time came wen we left,on the way called R,who was recovering from the surgery(dont ask which body part he was operated upon,he just cannot sit properly is all ill say)
then called S,who invited us for an anar ka juice,knowin it was 8:50pm and we had to be home by 9:30 we should have declined,but no,we flew to the anar ka juice joint,had some juice,some kacheri,spitted and sweared and threw S outta the car after he paid.
rushed back home,thanks to the taraveeh hours there wasnt much traffic.
came back,washed the thick liner off my lids.
was so dead tired when dr.N and dr.A called sayin they are comin for icecream.
i screamed tellin them not to,not today atleast.i was so full(even though the food tased bland) that each time i opened my mouth some food spilled outta it,lol.
and i was tired,feel sorry now for turnin them down.
im gonna call them today and ill take them out for an icecream.
long day today.im on call tomorrow.goin on call after 4 months.
that reminds me to take chai ka samaan with me.cannot live without it.

this is the video i took after i was done with my mrcog exam and i was waitin for my mamoo to pick me up and take me home.looked like a weird desi takin videos from cell phone,but to kill time i had to do this.it was so windy that day that when my mamoo did come to pick me up he didnt recognize me and went past by,and that took him another ten mins to find a cut and come back.the exam itself was exhausting plus the wait aggravated my lid lag.

STALKER

So I heard tinko angraiz came to see me yesterday.
tinko.thats wot dr.H used to call him
he was this attendant of my patient,not my patient but a random patient in the ward where i worked.
but on call days we have to look after all the patients besides the beds allotted specifically for u.
so after four five calls,this attendant started following me even though I wasn't his bed doctor.
at first I was takin it lightly knowin just another worried attendant of a patient.
this conversation led me to think otherwise
tinko"hello dr.Qu3st"
Qu3st"Han kaisay ho?abo kaisay hain?"
tinko"jee bilkul fine.wot about your calls.when is it next"
Qu3st..raising my eyebrow"well tomorrow inshAllah"
tinko"BUT ITS NOT WRITTEN ON THE ROSTER"
Qu3st...so he saw the duty roster?brows raised to a new height"yeah that's coz im posted in i.c.u"
tinko"So are u prepared for presentation"
Qu3st"no that still has sometime,its next month so ill prepare later"
tinko"NO,dr.Qu3st,its not next month its on the 16th.go check"
Qu3st....wtf...how does he know about my presentation."acha okie I will u go to ur bed now"
tinko"waisay dr.Qu3st amongst all the house officers ur the best house wife...oh sorry I meant to say house officer"
Qu3st"go back to your bed...NOW"
then on several occasions while workin in the i.c.u I could see him lurking around lookin inside at 3am while im performing CPR.i tried to avoid him but no whenever I used to leave the ward he was always there to wave hand and say bye.
and then
one nite at 8pm,me and my friends went out to get somethin to eat on a dinner break.
saw him standing around as usual.
while on the way back I get the shock of my life.
he has written all his wishes for me on my car's windows.all 6 of them,front back,and four on the sides.
(poor friends cursed him while cleanin the car at midnite)
that day he got some thrashing from my friends.
and finally the next day his father was shifted to another ward which ended the drama which kept my friends entertained for a long time
so I heard he came to say hi to me yesterday,but I left earlier.
he tried to get my no off one of the doctors and after failin to get it left his no for me to contact him.
HE ACTUALLY THINKS ILL CALL HIM.
STALKER.
by the way this time im allotted beds with dr.M sahib.hehehhehhe.
and im working on second day of eid for six hours:(

deficit.

its so depressing to work in the same ward minus ur friends.
today has been the most depressing day at work.
i have never felt like flyin outta ward round before.
all the time i was standing there with strange faces around me i kept on glancing on the corridor for B,R,S,A,N or AZ to pop up.but no.they are not here anymore.accept it.
wen i entered the ward went runnin into the doctors room to find the space empty with no smiling face to say hiiiiiiii....
the silence was killing me today,stabbing me.
how chirpy n crisp our batch was while doing the house job,even miss the idiot K.
even his clown like face is being missed by me in the ward.
im not goin back tomorrow.
i dont care if my concience kills me.
so wot if i dont do my deficit.
so many ppl just take there certificates while sittin at home.
i atleast did 4 months...two months wont matter.
im not officially on a deficit list.
im not even marked when i check in everyday.
just doing the deficit out of guilt.
but after today i think i will be better off with the guilt than silence.
oh lord.
cant help cryin.
i miss old days so much.
i just dont wanna grow up.
why did i go to england
why did i miss my two months here
im nt goin from tomorrow.
i cant work in the same environment.
i just cannot work.

dr.M sahib.

went to the bank today!stupid half informed clerk there didnt know wot to do about the problem so now im gonna do e-banking.no more finding small branches cramped in crowded shoppin areas.
why the hell dint i thnk of it before.
joined the ward today.
entered the ward to see dr.M sahib sittin in the doctors room.
said hi and informed of my joining.he said"to yeh to barri khushkhabri hai."
yesterday when i told R, B and S about me joinin,they all started describin in their own imaginations wot dr.M will say.they just take the mic out of dr.M so much,i feel sad for poor dr.M.seedhay logon ka to zamana hi nahi hai.
when i left the ward my friends were dead sure that the person who missed me the most was dr.M sahib(the sahib so suits him).
poor dr.M has been tryin to clear his post graduate exam for the last i dont know how many years and even this year he flunked.
but i idolize him.atleast he has the courage to TRY,TRY AND TRY AGAIN.
so when i sat for my diplomma exam(my mum just enrolls me for any exam) my friends made fun of me sayin ur goin for diplomma,are u not hopeful about ur mrcog?i was like no i am hopeful but there is no harm in giving an exam.they just wont hold me by my forelock and force me into the programme.im just giving it for the experience.and if god forbid i dont get my mrcog ill hv somethin in hand.so they asked me will i really go for a diplomma if ill not clear mrcog or fcps.i was like yes i will,they asked me why?i said havent u seen dr.M.he's tryin,if he can so can i.while doing my diploma i would have tried again.they all laughed so much.dr.M and his nazakut bhara behaviour.had he been a girl he would have been so sughar,i can bet about it.

kaghazat

another day,woke up after settin the alarm on snooze twice(improvement)
took my dads car this time to avoid CNG delimma.
so at a snails pace im goin up M.A.Jinnah,just cant find the stupid banks branch.
frustrated looked back in the mirror and i see this board iwth my banks name on it but by the time i see it im on the other side of the road with buses in between,when the buses finally clear up im almost at the end of the road,thinkin about going all the way around this one way trap just coz of this stupid bank,and yet again i drop the plan of goin to the bank.
while doin some khaghazati kaam,i get a msg from R sayin he's undergoin a minor surgery rite now.i rush to the O.T to see him dressed in a blue O.T dress
first thing i ask him is for his pin no for his atm,jus in case he doesnt survive the surgery.lol.
while talkin other friends arrive too.R's family is not in the city so we friends were the only one to support him.and obviously B was there too.
so after we all decided wot to keep of his jus in case he doesnt survive we took some pics.(S got his A.C, I got his credit card,the list goes on,man he has alot of stuff)
it was so funny when he was under the spell of dormicum(a pre-op medicine to calm u)
the way he had droopy eyes.had fun takin the mic out of him.
Sshe called today after a long time,she has arranged a dinner.
so finally after a gap of two years ill be seein her.
i bet she must have changed.lookin forward to that iftar dinner.
re-joinin house job from tomorrow.
tis tuff to join in after having your postgraduate degree in hand and still workin as a house officer.
thats wot i call H.O cum P.G.lol.

why me?
guess wot my massi did to my shirt signed by my friends
yes she WASHED it.wot she thinking(baji nay shirt kitni gandi ki hoi hai)
wonder how much surf she wasted cleaning those markers.
how nice my friends are u can guess from the fact the only thing one of my friends like about me is my car sayin "I like your car,drive safe" is that the only thing worth likin about me?really.

what a day!
woke up after puttin the alarm on snooze thrice.
finally got the courage to wash the burning eyes after which the world seemed little less offensive.
had these documentation work.runnin after H.O.Ds for signatures,waitin for them to call u in,arrgh hate that stuff,and that sir meetin main hain,boils me.
anyway started my car only to find out a min later that stupid brother used up all CNG and ill have to refeul,
hate refeullin for CNG,lines are like wild snakes.this boiled me even more,stopped at the petrol station,took off my sun glasse,dint want the unwanted stares.
finally reached college,so wanted to surprise u by goin to your ward n boo...went there only to find out u have taken a day off,boilin or i should say sublimation point was reached,when a body turns directly to gas without turnin into liquid.
aaargh....
started doin my documents ka kaam,took me whole day waitin for sirs and afsars.
on the way back had to go the bank,as the branch i have my account in is under construction so they have assigned another branch nearby.tried to find the new branch.
its on M.A. Jinnah,so i went past dilpasand and bingo i find a UBL,found a parkin space just in front,i thought to myself there must be somethin wrong when it becomes too easy,and yes it was,i went to the teller and asked for my bank balance.damn i dont remember my account no.take out the bank slip i got when i went to the bank last time and handed him that to the guy to search for my account no on it.the minute he saw im from the OTHER branch,he said no madam this is not the branch incharge of ur account,i tried to explain him that the other branch is under construction and blah,after two mins of playin with his pen,he told me politely that there is another branch further up near ALLAh WAli market go there,they are in control of your account....argh,cant believe it,how can they have two branches jus few feet apart on the same road,and the road further up was one way so thinkin about comin back the long distance jus for one stupid bank i postponed this bank ka kaam.tomorrow.i cant be bothered with driving so much while im fastin,wo bhi near a market place where woman are shoppin like crazy.
came back home tried to call u but u ditn answer then tried to sleep when ur phoen rang,after callin u baymurawat and beywafa we started talkin normally,and decided to continue the chat online later in the evening after re-hydration.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?